


to hold the light between us

by ultraviolence



Category: Fate/Grand Order, Fate/Prototype: Fragments of Sky Silver, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms, Fate/stay night - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Confessions, First Dates, Friends to Lovers, Holding Hands, Kissing, M/M, Romantic Fluff, a romcom honestly, this is all there is to it really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-15 02:18:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18489256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ultraviolence/pseuds/ultraviolence
Summary: In which Ritsuka Fujimaru, a college student with too much free time on his hands, accepted a job from a friend of a friend, and ended up getting more than what he bargained for. Definitely not as shady as it sounds. Oneshot, AU.





	to hold the light between us

**Author's Note:**

> I really thought I wouldn't be writing another fic with this ship again since it's a galaxy brain ship and I was crazy when I write Winter Nights, but writing about them _is_ addicting, and now I can't stop. I also got asked if a sequel is possible. This is definitely not a sequel, but...consider it shipping fuel where everyone is happy and nothing hurts, except maybe for Bedivere, who wasn't here because of backstory reasons (sorry Beddy, rip). 
> 
> Anyway...let's just get to it right away, enjoy!

Their first meeting was very much accidental, and it was something he remembered well.

On a certain Sunday afternoon, he received an urgent offer from a friend of a friend. It would be an easy job, they said, and brief besides, so that it wouldn’t take too much of his time. Being a scholarship student, and one who is always keen on helping out others, Ritsuka didn’t think much of it, and accepted the offer.

The address they gave him was some 15 minutes away by subway, and he arrived there promptly. The door was opened by a serious-looking man with dark purple hair, who looked quite relieved when he saw Ritsuka on the doorstep.

“Oh, you’re here,” he said, smiling slightly. “You’re Gawain’s friend, aren’t you? Well, come on in,” he nods, opening the door wider and stepping aside a bit so as to let him in. 

“Thanks,” Ritsuka told him, before stepping into the threshold. 

“Uh, we’ll be back soon, so this shouldn’t take long,” the man said, as he led him through the hallway and into the house proper. It wasn’t a very large house, per se, but the inside is quite spacious, and the furnitures were elegant and well-placed. “You don’t mind, right?” He finally said, and stopped in what Ritsuka assumed was the living room. Another man was sitting there—a redhead with long hair that was tied in a ponytail—with a dog on his feet, who was watching them excitedly.

“Oh, sorry, forgot to introduce myself,” the purple-haired man said, turning around slightly to face him. “I’m Lancelot, and this here is—“ he gestured towards the other man, who was simply observing them calmly, his demeanour a complete opposite of the dog’s. “—Tristan. Tristan, he’s the one who’s going to look after Cavall while we’re out,” he said to the redhead.

“A pleasure,” he simply said, and Ritsuka opened his mouth, about to answer, when the dog finally leaped to its feet and bounded its way towards him. The dog was a medium-sized breed—though Ritsuka doesn’t exactly know which one since he doesn’t really know about that sort of thing—and it tackled him down.

“Wha- hey!” Ritsuka said, partially laughing since the dog was licking his cheek. “That tickles, you know.”  


“He can be quite a handful sometimes,” Lancelot said with a sigh, and Ritsuka pushed the dog away, gently, giving him a pat on the head. The purple-haired man immediately procured a tissue, and Ritsuka accepted it gratefully. “But he’s very well-trained, I promise. I’ll show you where everything is, and then me and Tristan can be on our way.”

It wasn’t long before they say their goodbyes and closed the door behind them, leaving him alone in the house with the dog.

Ritsuka doesn’t really mind. Though he never really had a pet back home, he always did liked animals. He turned towards Cavall, and smiled.

“I think we’ve got a couple of hours to kill, Cavall,” he said, and the dog responded with a bark. “Let’s go and watch TV.”

He turned out to be a very good dog indeed, like what Lancelot said. He did bother him quite a bit, but Ritsuka was soon growing very much fond of him, and he enjoyed playing with Cavall. 

The dog was sitting beside him on the sofa in front of the TV, and Ritsuka had one arm wrapped around him in a hug, when he falls asleep. It was most likely the exhaustion kicking in, for he’d spent the night before pulling an all-nighter for an essay. 

He woke up, groggily, when he heard the sound of a car pulling into the driveway. He couldn’t have fallen asleep for long, but he’d fallen off to a side at some point, and Cavall had jumped off the sofa, resting on his feet, but the dog's ears were pricked the moment he heard the sound of the car. 

Ritsuka reached for his mobile phone to check the time, but the dog had gone, and he nervously went after him. There are still light coming from the windows, albeit faint, so that means that it’s not yet nightfall. Lancelot did say that they were going to return soon, so it could mean him, but Ritsuka’s gut feeling told him that it wasn’t him.

He stood in the hallway, looking at the door, standing there nervously. Cavall has seated himself in front of the door, and, at the moment, he did fleetingly remember being told that Cavall was Lancelot’s dog, but now he was beginning to have his doubts.

The person at the other end of the door—whoever that is—was unlocking the door, and soon enough, he opened the door and stepped into view. Cavall barks, and bumped himself to the newly-arrived man’s leg affectionately. The man’s expression softens for a moment when he saw the dog, but he sensed his presence—and immediately shifted his gaze to him.

The full force of his gaze was unrelenting, like something powerful and deadly, and Ritsuka tried his best not to shy away from it.

“Who are you?” The man demanded, his clear green eyes calm and lethal. “And what are you doing in my house?”

“I- I, uh…” Ritsuka stammered, racking his brain for the explanation that should have been easy to fish out, if not for the intensity that this man emitted. Not only that, he was naturally intimidating. Tall and striking, the blond man was what people call a stunner, for he effortlessly stunned others by his looks and presence alone. It was a certain sort of charisma, something that no ordinary man possessed, and Ritsuka unconsciously wondered where he’d seen him before, because he looked somewhat familiar. “I- I was looking after Cavall. Your—“ he struggled to find the correct word, and the other man looked at him expectantly, with some degree of scepticism. “— _friend_ asked me to look after him,” he hastily added, though lamely. “I thought…I thought you were him.”

“Huh. And did this friend of mine happen to have a name?” The other man said, sarcasm bleeding into his voice.

“Lancelot,” Ritsuka told him, sighing. He’d guessed that there was no way around it, and he’d also guessed by now that the situation isn’t quite what Lancelot makes it out to be. “And Tristan. Though Gawain was the one who asked me.”

The blond man did not look surprised at all, though he did look silently murderous. “I see. Did they mention where are they going? Or anyone else, for that matter?”

“Only that they wouldn’t be long,” Ritsuka said, shaking his head. “I’m sorry.”

“That’s vague, but I’ll give them a call,” he said, dryly, though he did visibly relax for a bit, Ritsuka noticed. He let out a breath he’d been holding. “What did they promise you in return?”

“Um…just some money,” Ritsuka said, shrugging, relieved that the initial suspicion seemed to have passed, especially since the other man—who was only a couple of years older than him—had turned the other way and started loosening his scarf. “That’s all, really.”

“I see. Well, even if they did betray my trust—not for the first time—I don’t think they’re going to scam you,” the older man said, his tone calm and precise, as he took off both his scarf and his coat and put them on the hanger near the door. He bent down, slightly, scratching his dog between the ears. Cavall barked, before running off to Ritsuka, this time bumping his leg excitedly, barking a couple of times before bounding inside to god-knows-where. The other man straightened up himself. A somewhat awkward silence passed between them. “I think he likes you,” he said, quite grudgingly, Ritsuka noted. “He’s unbelievably naïve, mind you, and he’s really quite well-trained, but he doesn’t take to people easily. He doesn’t give you any trouble, does he?”

“No,” Ritsuka said, shaking his head again. “He doesn’t give me any trouble at all.”

“That’s good,” he said, nodding, and made his way towards where he stood in the hallway, and Ritsuka thought that he was going to brush past him, but he didn’t. Their gazes lingered on each other for a little bit longer than necessary, and Ritsuka quickly looked away.

“Oh! Um, I- I guess I really should be going now, since you’re back and all,” he said, stepping aside to let the other man pass. “Lancelot and Tristan should be back soon, too, hopefully, since you’re, uh, going to call them…”

“They would never have guessed that I came home early, those bloody wankers,” the other muttered under his breath darkly. “But no, yeah, you can stay,” he said, wryly, though Ritsuka detected a hint of underlying hesitance in his voice. “You’re not technically off-duty yet until they’re here, and I’m unfortunately not going to clean up their mess this time, so…”

“…thank you,” he said, sensing that it wasn’t an easy decision, smiling up at him. He offered him his hand. “I’m Ritsuka. Ritsuka Fujimaru.”

“Oh,” the other man said, clearly uncertain of what he was supposed to do, but he took his hand and shook it carefully after a short while. “Arthur. Arthur Pendragon,” he said, pulling his hand quickly away afterwards. “I’m going to do a couple of things upstairs, but you’re welcome to…continue doing what you were doing. There are some food in the kitchen, if you’re hungry.”

It seems like it was the most he’d said in a while, and Arthur looked at him for a response. It was clear that he was eager to be on his way. Ritsuka gave him a vigorous nod, still a little stunned.

“Excellent,” Arthur said, looking secretly relieved. “Now if you’ll excuse me.”

He doesn’t wait for his response, instead brushing past him in the hallway. 

“Arthur,” Ritsuka called out, before the other man was gone completely from view, and said man turned slightly, quite obviously irritated that his hurried exit was interrupted all too soon. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Arthur raised an eyebrow, irritation and puzzlement written on his expression, and Ritsuka thought that it was fascinating. He never would have thought that he was the type that would emote a lot, especially in the presence of practically strangers, but perhaps Ritsuka was just quite good at reading other people’s emotions. 

“Yes. It’s nice to meet you too,” he said, flatly, and was gone.

Ritsuka didn’t think too much about it, but had a feeling that it wouldn’t be the last time that they are going to see each other.

* * *

Arthur did come to rely on him quite a bit after that to look after his dog. Ritsuka doesn’t know yet what kind of work Arthur actually do, but it apparently involves traveling around for a bit, and, since he’d somehow proven himself to be more reliable and trustworthy than Lancelot and company, it falls on him to look after Cavall and the house while Arthur was gone.

They aren’t good friends, per se, and Arthur isn’t quite the sociable type—most of their conversations (if it can be called that) revolved around the dog and, well, dog things—but Ritsuka had come to grown somewhat accustomed to him and his aloof demeanour, and the feeling appears to be mutual, since Arthur seemed to tolerate him. 

Thus, he wasn’t really surprised when—around four months after their initial meeting—Arthur texted him suddenly, only saying that it’s urgent.

Ritsuka did hurry—it was a weekend and he was coincidentally free—and arrived at his doorstep soon enough. Arthur answered the door on the first ring.

He looked harried and somewhat stressed, something that he'd never seen before, and Ritsuka wonders what’s wrong.

“Hi,” Ritsuka started, raising an eyebrow. “You okay? I brought lunch, since I made too much today.”

“Oh—“ Arthur said, somehow seemed to be really taken aback by what he’d said, apparently unsure of what to say in return. “Thanks. I- I apologise this is all so sudden,” he continued, brushing Ritsuka’s question aside. 

“It’s okay,” Ritsuka reassured him. “Is anything wrong, Arthur?”

Arthur seemed to hesitate for a bit, a common occurrence, but in the end he caved.

“Well, in short, Cavall is— well, Cavall is _missing_. Tristan took him for a walk yesterday evening, took his eyes off him for a second, and he’s gone. I thought…” he trailed off for a bit, and Ritsuka noticed the dark circles underneath his eyes. “…maybe you could help me? He couldn’t—shouldn’t—go far.”

“I’m glad you thought of me,” Ritsuka told him, sincerely, giving him a small smile. “But yeah, we’ll find him, don’t worry. Perhaps bring some of his favourite treats along? And let me put the food I’ve brought you inside first. Then we’re going to go look,” he said, touching Arthur’s arm lightly, reflexively. He was glad when the other man gave him a nod, and moved aside to let him pass. “I’m not going to be long. Wait here,” he made his way past the threshold and into the house proper. 

A couple of steps in, and he turned slightly. Arthur’s expression was unreadable as he watched him go on his way, but Ritsuka knows— _felt_ —that there was more underneath the surface.

“Everything’s going to be all right, I promise,” he said, though he really wasn’t quite sure why he said that. Arthur wasn’t a child to be reassured, he was an adult man, and yet, something about him tells Ritsuka that he doesn’t trust people easily.

Which makes this entire thing all the more vital. Ritsuka gave him one last smile before hurrying inside.

They sat together in the park some time later, having searched a couple of the nearby blocks. It wasn’t yet spring proper, and there was still a chill in the air, but it was a clear, beautiful day, no sign of rain for once, with some people and children playing and flocking out and about. 

Arthur’s restlessness was palpable, and Ritsuka did worry about him, too. A moment of silence passes between them, as they watched some children playing in the distance.

“I’m sorry,” Ritsuka sighed, taking out a water bottle he’d been carrying in his bag. “I thought…I thought this would be easier. He couldn’t have gone far, could he?”

“…no,” Arthur said, his cool green eyes assessing the scenery in front of them. Ritsuka stole a glance at him before drinking his water. “He couldn’t. At least, I think so,” he let out a small, dejected sigh. 

“Here,” Ritsuka said, offering him his water quietly. “You look tired. We’ll resume the search in a bit, but for now, let’s take a little break, alright?”

Arthur looked surprised, and he quickly looked away. 

“Thanks, but I’m fine,” he said, flatly, but Ritsuka was determined not to let him get away with it, not this time. “I do think we need to focus—“

“I’m not taking no for an answer,” Ritsuka insisted, pushing the water bottle in his direction. “Listen—“ he told him, silencing him with a glare, though his expression gradually softened, "I know this is a stressful situation, and we are barely friends, but…you know, I do care about you, too. So please…take care of yourself,” he continued, smiling slightly. “And we’ll find Cavall, alright? I promise.”

“You—“ Arthur started, narrowing his eyes at him, clearly both enraged and surprised, and Ritsuka braced himself for the upcoming diss track, but, to his surprise, Arthur sighed, looked away, and massaged his temple. “You did overstep your boundary, Ritsuka, but for now, I’ll let it pass. I think—“

He stopped, halfway through, eyes widening for a bit. Ritsuka, who had been hanging on to his every word, opened his mouth to ask what’s wrong, but Arthur cuts him off.

“I think I know where Cavall could have gone,” he said, and stood abruptly. “Yes, rest is important, but I think that can wait. Let’s go.”

He doesn’t really have a choice but to follow suit afterwards, since Arthur had started going on his way, and Ritsuka hopes that he was right.

* * *

Perhaps it was the natural progression of things, but they became quite good friends after that. They did found Cavall, unharmed, just hungry, and Ritsuka was grateful. A couple more months passed, and he became used to looking after Cavall and sometimes just dropping by when he’s free to see him (and Arthur). He’d also become proficient in using Arthur’s kitchen, and, also, how to tell his friends apart from each other. 

There is Gawain, the one who essentially got him into the entire situation. He smiles a lot, eats a lot, and acted like the big brother he never had. There is Lancelot, who, despite his serious looks, are actually the butt of the others’ jokes, and he seemed to fill Arthur with quiet murderous intent every now and then with his loose behaviour, but they are both bosom buddies anyway. There is Tristan, who seemed to be perpetually sad, and who they often caught sleeping in places where you really shouldn’t sleep. There wasn’t much to be said about him except that he doesn’t talk much, but he seemed to be popular with women. There is Agravain, who looked like he hated everyone and needs at least a millennium’s worth of sleep. Ritsuka doesn’t really know on what basis was his friendship with Arthur was built, they don’t look like they have a lot in common. 

Then there is Merlin, who, by all intents and purposes, are essentially a cryptid.

Ritsuka had seen them around at varying degrees in Arthur’s place, could recognise them from their distinct voices (or lack thereof, in the case of Tristan). 

Which is why he was both puzzled and curious when one day, Arthur arrived with someone who wasn’t any of the aforementioned persons. He didn’t see them—not yet—since he was with Cavall in the kitchen, trying out a new recipe for curry, but he heard the sound of the door being opened and two people conversing in the hallway.

No, arguing. They were loud enough for him to make out the tone, though not loud enough for him to make out the words clearly. One of the voices was clearly Arthur’s. The other was another male voice, a bit louder and rougher than Arthur’s. 

Ritsuka strained to hear what they were saying, but he quickly felt guilty, and tried to tune it out. He couldn’t focus anymore on what he was doing, however, since part of him was somewhat worried about Arthur. After he heard a door slamming upstairs, he decided to go and check out the situation. It’s likely that Arthur wouldn’t want to talk to him after an argument like that, but…he still wanted to check on him anyway.

He made his way to the stairs, Cavall trotting behind him, when he stumbled upon the owner of the other voice, who’d just descended the stairs.

The man was a redhead, but his resemblance with Tristan stopped there. He kept it short, and, judging from his well-tailored suit and clearly expensive shoes, he either came from money or are just plain wealthy. He couldn’t be more than one or two years older than Arthur, but, where Arthur had a more detached, reserved charisma, this man’s presence seemed…to fill and suffocate the room.

In any case, he seemed to be a wildfire, something that was waiting to explode, and Ritsuka chose his next words carefully.

“Are you Arthur’s friend?” He asked, curiosity winning over the desire to mind his own business. The man turned his gaze to him, and Ritsuka thought that his eyes were a really dark blue at first, but they turned out to be a deep purplish colour by closer inspection. He was dashingly handsome, there’s no doubt about it, but there was something about him that Ritsuka couldn’t quite put a finger on just yet.

“Are you?” He asked back, almost a challenge, his voice dangerously low. His accent was European, though Ritsuka couldn’t pinpoint exactly which country. “I don’t think I’ve seen you around before.”

“Um…yes. I’m doing my degree here in the UK, haven’t known him for long,” he explained. “I also help look after Cavall,” Ritsuka shrugged. “Do you need help with anything? Are you leaving?”

The man opened his mouth to answer, but their conversation was interrupted when they hear the sound of a door being opened upstairs and, a moment later, Arthur appeared on top of the stairs, his mouth set in a thin line.

“Lucius,” he said, addressing the other man, his tone icy, although there was something undoubtedly acidic about it. “I thought I asked you to leave.”

The man—Lucius—looked like he was going to argue for a split second, but, perhaps noticing the unyielding set of Arthur’s jaw and the cold glare he gave him, decided against it in the end and raised his hands up in a gesture of peaceful surrender.

“Fine, I’m leaving, yes,” he said, though the look on his eyes said that he wasn’t going to back down so easily, not without a fight. He does seem like the type. “You know how to reach me,” he told him, and, without sparing Ritsuka another glance, went on his way. They could hear the door opening and then closing not a moment too soon.

Arthur is still glaring in the general direction of the door after that, his jaw still set in a tough line, but he looked away before Ritsuka could say anything, sighing.

“Everything okay?” Ritsuka said, carefully, taking a few steps up to better take a look at him.

“Yes, it’s fine,” Arthur muttered, looking like he’d just met headache in human form, and Ritsuka thought that perhaps that was the case. “It was just a row. Nothing personal.”

From the sound of it, it was pretty damned personal, Ritsuka thought, but kept it to himself. He nearly asked who the man was, but Arthur breaks the momentary silence between them first.

“Could we perhaps go for a drink? I’ll drop you at the apartment later,” he asked, looking at him quite expectantly. It was unexpected, but, Ritsuka rationalised, they had been friends for quite a while now. In light of the recent event, Arthur probably wanted a good distraction with someone he could trust. “I- if you don’t want to—“

“No, no, I want to,” Ritsuka quickly interjected, shaking his head. “Let me try and finish the curry first, though.”

“Leave it,” Arthur told him. “Let’s eat out instead. I’ll treat you.”

“You made an offer I couldn’t possibly refuse,” he said in response, couldn’t help but joke for a bit. “I’m sold. Let’s go.”

Perhaps it was a trick of the light, but Ritsuka thought that he saw Arthur’s face light up, and that sets his heart fluttering.

* * *

They settled down with a couple of drinks in a nearby pub not long after that, commandeering a nice cozy corner. Ritsuka made a mental note not to drink too much, since it’s not really his thing, and besides, one of them definitely has to drive, unless Arthur is planning to call the others. 

A comfortable, companionable silence settles between them for a while, with Ritsuka being all too happy to scope out the place, and Arthur a little busy with his drink. The rich noise of background conversations filled their silence, and the music wasn’t too loud. It was a perfect combination, and he was more than happy to stay in that moment forever.

“Thanks for taking me here,” he finally said, breaking the silence, shifting his gaze to meet the other’s. “It’s nice.”

“You’re welcome,” Arthur said in return, shrugging, although there may have been a blush involved, but that could be a trick of the light. “I’m a regular.”

Ritsuka nodded, drumming his fingers on the table. It was a little awkward, hanging out with him outside of his house like this—they haven’t really done it before since Arthur was always quite busy—and he doesn’t really know what to say. If the feeling’s mutual, though, Arthur seemed to be better at hiding it, since he doesn’t seem to be bothered. 

“You do travel a lot, don’t you?” Ritsuka finally said, choosing a safe topic. Besides, he was indeed curious—he doesn’t think they’d ever breached the topic of his job, and Arthur never really asked about his studies. He seemed to be content of minding his own business, or, Ritsuka suspected, Gawain had kept him informed about things, though that seems unlikely, since he doesn’t seem like the type to gossip. “It must be nice,” he added, a little wistfully. “This is my first time outside of Japan.”

“I can tell,” Arthur remarked, and Ritsuka raised an eyebrow. He wondered if it was _that_ obvious. “And I suppose I do travel a lot, yes.”

“What do you do?” Ritsuka asked, morbidly curious. He had his speculations and theories, but they are nothing more than speculations and theories. 

“I’m— well, I’m a model. But my degree is in photography,” Arthur responded, coolly sipping his drink. That certainly explains a lot of things, Ritsuka thought, and smiled. He can picture him, posing for magazine spreads, or patiently waiting behind the lens to capture that one perfect moment, always dreaming of the light and how it falls across things. But it certainly makes sense that he makes his life being in front of the camera instead of behind it, since the camera certainly must have loved him too. 

It was something like that of a love affair, and Ritsuka smiled a private smile, sipping his own drink before answering.

“That’s really cool. I’m studying history,” he told him. “I’m not really good with social media or following the latest trends, but that explains why you seem familiar when I first met you. I must have seen you somewhere before.”

“W- well…I guess…that makes sense,” Arthur responded, weakly, and Ritsuka thought that it was cute. It was easy to assume that he would be arrogant with compliments, but that really wasn’t the case with Arthur. Ritsuka didn’t know if that was because he was really actually quite shy, or if he’s just oblivious to the effect that he had on the world in general. He smiled again, and Arthur quickly looked away. “Anyway…did you like your stay here?”

“It was nice,” Ritsuka said, nodding and leaning back on his seat. “I really liked it. Since you are travelling a lot, do you have any favourite places that you’ve visited? Or places that you’d like to visit someday?”

“Well…” Arthur trailed off, his face a little scrunched up from thinking about the question. It lent some sort of humanity to his usually remote features, and Ritsuka liked it. He always did thought that Arthur looked like a hero in the stories, or an old royalty of sorts, like the idealised version of the figures he’d been studying, but under the light of the pub, in the midst of the hubbub of conversations, with a drink in hand, he actually looked human, like something he can really touch, and something about it stuck with Ritsuka. 

Arthur did finally seem to notice that he was looking at him, and looked somewhat embarrassed about it. “W- what are you looking at? Is there anything wrong with my face?”

Ritsuka had to laugh at that. He really is oblivious about a lot of things. 

“Nothing, there’s nothing wrong,” he told him, chuckling lightly and smiling privately to himself. “I was just thinking…I was lucky to be here.”

That really did put a blush on Arthur’s face, and the red looked nice on him.

* * *

By the end of their drinking session—he put an end to it since he was worried about Arthur and the state of his liver—Ritsuka had to drive them home. They could have called the others, but he didn’t want to trouble them, and besides, it was something that he could do himself. 

Arthur is quiet along the way, staring out of the window, at the blurring of lights and the intersection between darkness and light, and Ritsuka thought that he’d actually fallen asleep—he was a sheltered kid, but he did know that some people fell asleep in drunken stupor—but a glance in his direction told him otherwise.

They arrived without a hitch, soon enough, and Ritsuka helped him out of the front passenger seat and into his house.

“I should be the one driving you home,” Arthur said, once they were safely inside the house. “I did promise you. I’m sorry,” he added, with a sigh. “I think I promised you dinner too.”

“Well, you can always treat me to proper dinner next time,” he told him, airily, helping him with his shoes. “I’m always up for that. And I can take the subway, it’s not that big of a deal.”

“You can stay,” Arthur blurted out, though he seemed to realise it right away, and blushes. Ritsuka actually wondered what’s the deal—they were only friends, and it doesn’t seem out of place for a friend to ask the other to stay for the night. But perhaps…perhaps he just wasn’t really used to showing his emotions. “I- I mean. There’s a guest room upstairs, Merlin used to stay there all the time. I don’t mind.”

“Thanks, Arthur,” Ritsuka said, giving him a smile. “I’ll help you get into bed first, okay?”

“…I’m not _that_ drunk,” he muttered, but Ritsuka knows that it wasn’t true. He’d seen firsthand how he walked, and he would _not_ trust Arthur with the stairs. “You really don’t need to baby me—“

He nearly tripped, but Ritsuka caught him, and now they are trapped in an awkward position where Ritsuka’s back is pinned to the wall, but he had his arms half-wrapped around the other’s midsection, while Arthur’s hands are pressed a little above his head, on either side of it. Ritsuka quickly pulled his arms away, and looked up at Arthur.

“I- I’m sorry,” Ritsuka stammered, feeling the embarrassment burning on his face. This was the closest he’d ever been with him, and…it makes him feel weird. “Arthur—“

“No,” he said, softly, his gaze lingering, something about it makes Ritsuka thinks of moonlight and mythical things, and he’d never seen such a soft look in his eyes before. “It was my fault.”

There was a thunderstorm inside his chest now, threatening to break free, and when Arthur bent down to kiss him on the lips, Ritsuka could not think of anything else but the look in his eyes. All this time, he realised, Arthur was like a man haunted—by what, he didn’t know—but at that moment, that one single moment that passed by all too soon between them, the ghosts left him and he had a glimpse of the man he might have been, before.

It was a slow, lingering kiss, and Ritsuka instinctively kissed him back, his pulse quickening, not thinking too much about it. Eventually, the kisses became more passionate, more urgent, and somehow, Ritsuka soon found himself on the sofa in the living room, Arthur on top of him, whatever reservations they might have had forgotten, as they fumbled with each other like two drunk teenagers in his living room.

Except…even as he slowly loses himself into the pleasure, into Arthur’s lips and hands and tongue, something nags him in the back of his mind. _This isn’t right_ , he thought, thinking back to that afternoon, with the strange man that he stumbled across on the stairs. Not to mention one very obvious fact. He gently pushed Arthur away, and, although the other man quickly picked up the hint, he gave him a questioning look.

“What’s wrong?” Arthur asked, genuinely confused.

“You’re drunk,” Ritsuka told him with a sigh. “I’m not going to take advantage of you,” he continued, although he could feel his heart breaking a little, since a shadow seemed to pass through Arthur’s expression, and Ritsuka wondered if it was a loneliness that he’d secretly been nursing—that he’d gotten glimpses of during the time that he knows him—or if it was something else altogether. “I’m your friend. I’m not supposed to sleep with you when you’re drunk.”

“But—“ Arthur started, his voice wavering, but very much intent in arguing, though he stopped midway, and pulled away from him. He seated himself on the other end of the sofa, and Ritsuka collected himself, steeling himself for the blow that was about to come. “Alright, fine. Do you want to know something?” He continued, harshly, unflinching. “I do like you as more than a friend, Ritsuka. I didn’t just merely want to sleep with you.”

This was a lot to process, and, even if he did not drink a lot earlier, Ritsuka could feel his head starting to spin. He leaned back on his seat, trying to make heads or tails out of it.

“You’re drunk,” he said again, still in a state of shock. “You drank a little bit too much, Arthur, and then there’s the matter with that other guy. You still haven’t told me about him. I- well, nobody wants to be a rebound, or a distraction.”

Arthur spun around to look at him, anger flashing in his eyes. Ritsuka had never seen him so angry before, not even when Merlin accidentally broke his favourite kettle. Clearly, this was a sensitive matter, and he’d unknowingly stepped into a landmine.

“I don’t need to tell you about him,” Arthur said, an icy sneer forming on his lips. “And it was bold of you to assume that I need you to get by. Well, I’m definitely not going to stay and listen to this nonsense,” he announced, trying to stand up and somehow managing to do just that. “You know where the door is. Oh, and by the way,” he continued, already hobbling on his way. “I can handle the stairs perfectly fine, thanks.”

Arthur was gone, soon enough, and Ritsuka sighed, rubbing his temple, before straightening up his messy clothes, standing up, and making his way to the door. It was a miracle that they didn’t manage to wake up Cavall, but that was probably for the best.

He slipped out of the door and into the night, knowing perfectly well that it might be some time before he would be back here again, if he ever return at all.

* * *

Months passed, and they didn’t talk to each other after that. Ritsuka couldn’t help but wonder how Arthur is doing, if he’s okay—naturally—but, even if he’d found himself hovering over the send button in their text conversation, he always ended up deleting whatever he’d typed, and eventually forgot about it altogether.

But Arthur always remained in the back of his mind, haunting the attic of it like a ghost that refused to let go, and some nights, Ritsuka wondered if that night could have gone differently.

Eventually, one Sunday, he decided that he’d had enough, and resolved to settle the matter once and for all. There was no reply when he texted him, so he made the quick decision of taking the next train heading towards his neighbourhood. Ritsuka felt a bit nervous when he arrived on his doorstep, but rang the bell anyway. Arthur’s car was on the driveway, so he was most likely at home.

He started fidgeting after the third ring. What if Arthur just…don’t want to talk to him anymore? Perhaps he’d really hurt him. Thankfully, the anxious thoughts didn’t have time to stay long, since someone finally answered the door.

Arthur doesn’t look at all pleased to see him standing on his doorstep, although he wasn’t quite surprised, which means that he’d read his message. An awkward silence passed between them, and Ritsuka cleared his throat.

“Hey,” he said, mentally grateful that he didn’t stutter, even under Arthur’s icy cold stare. “I- I thought we could maybe…talk? It’s been a while and…I worry about you.”

“I had a job in a bit,” Arthur responded, coldly. “I’m going out. But, if you are really that inclined, go on. You have five minutes.”

Ritsuka stared at him incredulously. He really wasn’t the confrontational type, but this strikes him as quite ridiculous.

“And let the entire neighbourhood know all about our sordid love affair?” He said, somewhat dramatically. “Arthur, you _can’t_.”

This seemed to push all the right buttons, somehow, and Ritsuka watched in amazement as Arthur’s expression turned from disgusted, to contemplative, to finally resigned. He’d probably envisioned the coming of this day. 

Arthur finally lets out an irritated sigh, and opened the door wider so as to let him pass.

“…I wouldn’t call it a sordid love affair,” he said, motioning at him to come in. “And, for the record, I’m not doing this because I have a soft spot for you or anything.”

“Yeah, if you say so,” Ritsuka told him, stepping into the hallway. Nothing seemed to change in the house and, for a moment, he felt like he’d been transported back in time, to that Sunday long ago, when he first accepted the job to look after Cavall from Gawain. When they reached the living room, he tried not to think of that night, of how Arthur tasted, of how beautiful he looked on top of him, his shirt messy and half-undone, framed by moonlight falling in from the windows.

That scene was like a dream, and Ritsuka felt like he’d been privy to a secret many would kill to possess. 

“I don’t have much time, so we’re going to have to dispense with the manners and cut straight to the chase,” Arthur sharply said, cutting Ritsuka’s train of thought short. They were briefly interrupted by the arrival of Cavall, who excitedly bounded in Ritsuka’s direction and jumped into the empty space beside him in the sofa. Ritsuka gave him a scratch between the ears, giving the dog a hug. He did missed him. Arthur cleared his throat. “I really don’t think we have anything to talk about, but you insist. So, let’s talk.”

“Yeah, um…” Ritsuka started, briefly running a finger through his dark hair. “I just wanted to say…I’m sorry,” he said, bowing slightly out of instinct. “I- I guess I screwed up. I never realised…uh, I never realised your feelings towards me,” he paused, blushing lightly, avoiding Arthur’s gaze. “And I suppose it really wasn’t my business to inquire about your…associates. So…I’m sorry. I hope you’ll forgive me.”

A long silence, laden with memories and meaning, settled between them. It felt like forever, and Ritsuka shifted his gaze from Arthur’s legs to the clock on the wall, before stealing a glance at the other man.

He plainly looked conflicted, and Ritsuka felt a pang in his heart. He opened his mouth to say something else, to apologise for springing all of this on him, but Arthur beats him to it.

“…I’m sorry too,” he muttered, and, as if sensing his owner’s mood, Cavall jumped down and made his way over to Arthur. Arthur bent down, slightly, stroking him for a moment. “If it was anyone’s fault, it was certainly mine. You were right. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry,” he added, his green eyes distant. “I was drunk, I was upset, and…the rest is history, as you know. I don’t think I have been a very good friend to you, Ritsuka.”

This was more than an extended apology, he sensed. This was something more, something infinitely more important and symbolic. Arthur was acknowledging his shortcomings, but he was also letting him in, entrusting him with his vulnerability and the truth about his heart. 

Ritsuka could always picture him as something mythical, but at that moment, it became clear to him that he was just as human as the rest of them. 

“No, you weren’t,” Ritsuka said, looking him directly in the eye. “You were a good friend, and I thoroughly enjoyed being friends with you. That being said…” he trailed off a bit, unsure of how to progress with the next part. “I- you weren’t the only one. I do…like you as more than a friend, too…”

Their gazes lingered on each other, then, as the words slowly sink in, and Arthur turned red so quickly, up to the ears, that it was actually really quite hilarious, and Ritsuka had to hold in his laughter, even if he felt quite embarrassed too. But Arthur looked away first, for the first time, so Ritsuka count it as a win on his part.

“I- I really thought…you didn’t feel the same way…” he managed to say, weakly, and Ritsuka couldn’t contain his laughter anymore, even if his heart is threatening to secede from the rest of him.

“You really thought that? _You_? I just saw you in the cover of a magazine last week,” Ritsuka teased him, casually, leaning forward. “And yes, of course I forgive you, Arthur. But only if you treat me to the dinner that you promised me.”

“I’ve got a better offer,” Arthur blurted out, and Ritsuka looked at him, expectantly. “Do you…maybe…fancy going to the movies with me? Next week?”

“You’ve got a solid yes,” he told him, smiling joyfully. “I’d really love that.”

Arthur looked relieved at that, and, to Ritsuka’s surprise—and probably to Cavall’s surprise too, he thought, in a comedic manner—he smiled, in return. He was even more beautiful when he smiled, his green eyes lit up by a sun from within, and Ritsuka wished that he could capture it on film, perhaps, and carry the picture wherever he goes. He knows that he would remember that moment until the day he died.

He couldn’t help but bent forward to kiss that smile, but Arthur placed a finger on his lips, still smiling.

“Oh, one more thing,” he said. “You can ask about my…associate…anytime. It’s not important to me.”

“You made it sound really mysterious,” Ritsuka said, already impatient, wanting to taste him on his lips again. “Just spill the tea.”

“Well, I hooked up with him a couple of times a couple of years ago,” Arthur stated, matter-of-factly. If he still had emotions attached to the person in the question, he managed to hide it well. “Clearly, it was a big mistake on my part. He was still…obsessed…with me. That’s all there is to it, really.”

“I’m glad that he’s not a serial killer of sorts,” Ritsuka said, inching forward, already losing interest in all this talk about the past—ironically—and Arthur chuckled. “He certainly got a serial killer name. More importantly, though, since you’re going to be late for work, can I kiss you now?”

“Oh, I’ll do you one better,” Arthur said, and met him halfway with his lips. It was a weird, uncomfortable position, with the coffee table between them, but it was divine, and Ritsuka wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. They were greedy, both of them, and one kiss turned to several, and they lingered on, holding on to the moment for as long as they could, but in the end, Arthur had to leave.

“You can stay, if you want,” he told Ritsuka, after they remember how to breathe. “Cavall misses you terribly. In any case, I’ll text,” he said, straightening himself up. “I’ll see you soon.”

“I’ll wait for you,” Ritsuka said, with a nod and a smile. He really would prefer to have Arthur all to himself, especially after all the time that they’d been apart, but they have all the time in the world now, he supposed, and so, waiting for a little bit more doesn’t seem like such a bad idea after all. “I’ll see you.”

Arthur gave him one last quick smile, and left.

* * *

The next week passed by in a flash, and, before he knows it, Saturday rolls around, and with it, their plan of going to the movies. It was a date, that much is clear, and the thought of it sets Ritsuka’s heart racing. It wasn’t his first date ever, but it was _their_ first date, and he really did liked him, a lot, which is why he wanted it to be, well, to be _perfect_. 

When the hour comes, he found himself already pacing near the door in his apartment—he was actually quite grateful that his roommate was out with his girlfriend—and the bell rings just in time, at 7 PM sharp, not a minute too soon or too late. Ritsuka hurried and opened the door, hovering for a second at the handle in a moment of nervousness before saying fuck it mentally and pulled it open. 

Arthur had always been a sharp dresser, and Ritsuka had always been a little envious at how effortless he made fashion looks—he had the same feeling towards the others except for Merlin (who just wear whatever he felt like wearing on that day), but it was particularly strong around Arthur—but tonight, he seemed to have taken it up a notch. Ritsuka couldn’t help but stare at him for the longest time, wondering if he’s real.

“Hey,” Arthur said, interrupting Ritsuka’s reverie. “Is there anything wrong?”

“Sorry, it’s just that…” he looked him up and down once more, couldn’t help but feeling a bit shabby already. Perhaps he should go back to his room and change? He considered the possibility for a fleeting moment, but realised that Arthur was staring expectantly at him to finish his sentence. “Oh, um. You took my breath away, that’s all,” he added, somewhat jokingly. “By that, I mean you look amazing. Should I get my coat?”

Arthur shook his head, looking a tad bit amused, and perhaps also embarrassed. 

“You and your pickup lines. I really hope you didn’t learn that from Tristan,” he said, and only then did Ritsuka realised that he had his other hand behind his back. “You look amazing too. I brought you something,” Arthur announced, before bringing his hand out, revealing a bouquet of red roses. “I- I wasn’t very good at this, but…” 

It’s one thing to have an embarrassed Arthur on his doorstep, it’s another to have him there, clearly embarrassed, offering him a bouquet of flowers. Ritsuka was at loss for words.

“Thank you,” he exclaimed, taking them off his hands, and tiptoed up to give him a kiss on the cheek. “These are lovely. Come inside for a bit while I put this somewhere proper and get my coat, and then we can be on our way.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Arthur muttered under his breath, and Ritsuka laughed, because he knows that he is absolutely blushing.

The movie doesn’t particularly leave a strong impression on him, and nothing of importance happened, except for the part where Ritsuka accidentally spilled some popcorns on Arthur’s lap. He doesn’t know if the other was nervous, but he certainly is, and it was actually a miracle that it was only popcorns and not something like coffee. At one point during the movie, Ritsuka belatedly realised that Arthur is holding his hand, or, more aptly, resting his hand on top of his while the other hand is busy with popcorns. He doesn’t look like he was fully conscious of it—of making Ritsuka’s heart beat irregularly, and not because of the horror movie—but Ritsuka was grateful of that.

This was a new sensation, a new experience, and even if a part of him still felt shabby and insecure, sitting next to Arthur, who looked like he’d just walked out of a movie himself, or a myth, he felt…thrilled. It was something wonderful, something mysterious, like finally discovering the missing piece of a long-unsolved puzzle. 

He was still half-immersed in his own feelings when they walked out of the theatre, dazed and dazzled by the sudden lights and crowd of people. 

“Well, that was underwhelming,” Arthur said, his clear voice the only one that matters in the sea of conversation that surrounded them. “I was expecting something more,” he continued, pausing, glancing at him. “Ritsuka? Is anything wrong?”

He looked concerned, pulling them into a safe corner, and Ritsuka quickly shook his head.

“No, nothing,” he gave him a reassuring smile, touching his arm gently. “Everything’s okay.”

“Are you perhaps…” Arthur trailed off, looking quite serious, but a small smile was playing on the corner of his lips. “Scared?”

“Of course not,” he told him, laughing, but quickly fell silent and serious. He doesn’t know what came over him, but the words came spilling through his lips, and he only regretted it halfway through. “This may sound silly, but…I’m just worried that I’m not…good enough for you. O- oh, but it’s nothing important, it’s just my stupid insecurity—“

“Why?” Arthur cuts in, sharply, and Ritsuka winced, lightly. It was easy to forget just how piercing his gaze could be, since he’d gotten used to him by now. “Why do you feel that way?”

“As I said, it was just me feeling insecure, and I suppose it’s because…well, you’re surrounded by such good-looking people, and you’re so good-looking yourself, a- and…” he trailed off, feeling his voice and confidence both growing smaller and smaller. He sighed and turned away, feeling like he’d ruined their date already. “Forget it. I told you, it was stupid.”

“It’s not,” Arthur retorted, and his voice commands such attention that Ritsuka couldn’t help but shifted his gaze back towards him. “It’s not stupid. I- see, I’m not good with words, but I don’t trust a lot of people, and I haven’t bothered to date for years now, so…trust me when I said that you’re important to me,” he continued, miraculously only blushing a little. “You are more than good enough. I wouldn’t ask you out if you aren’t,” he added, shrugging casually. Somehow, that manages to reassure Ritsuka more than anything, and he gave him a small smile in return.

To his surprise, Arthur bends down and kisses him on the cheek, then gave him a quick peck on the lips, a soft yet overwhelming sensation that made Ritsuka’s heart, once more, go haywire. It was unexpected, but lovely, and he took Ritsuka’s hand afterwards, interlocking their fingers together, and it was Ritsuka’s turn to blush. 

“Let’s get something to eat,” Arthur said, seemingly already forgotten his little monologue about how important he is to him (or forgetting it on purpose), but Ritsuka’s heart was still thumping wildly in his chest. “I’m starving.”

It took Ritsuka a moment to stabilise himself, but when he does, he gripped his hand a little tighter, smiling up at him. 

“You know I’ll go anywhere with you,” Ritsuka murmured, meaningfully.

Arthur’s smile, afterwards, was something worth living for, and they walked together, fingers intertwined, into the night, but their story had only just begun.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, as always, comments and suggestions are welcome! <3


End file.
